Hell is Feminine
Blanche and I were excited to attend a professional women’s conference on Wednesday night. As I stood in line for registration with thousands of women in the 20-40 age range, I wondered what drugs had seeped into my system where “excited” applied to “women only.” Even if I were lesbian, this would not have been fun. I suppose if I were gay, and the conference was for “all lesbians” or “bi-curious straight girls”…maybe then I’d have a smile on my face.
The goal of this conference was to listen to extremely successful women brag about their accomplishments while teaching the masses of basic women to overcome our weak ability to negotiate or fight for what we deserve. Good God. I must have just seen “networking reception to follow” in the invitation.
During the guest speaker’s speech she made the comment, “I think there is a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women.” Everyone cheered. I did too. Just another reason I’ll be nominated to take over the underworld. I applaud any time I’m faced with these certainties. I wonder if the punishment for this circle of hell is an all woman conference.
Each woman on the panel told a story of something they overcame in the workplace. Once each of them had a turn, the audience had the opportunity to ask questions. I thought this little exercise was bizarre. What the hell am I going to ask the founder of InStyle magazine that will improve my career? “Do you have any job openings for at least half a million?” came to mind, but the question auctioneer didn’t reach my section in the Q&A session. Bummer.
We were encouraged to ask them situational questions that may apply to our world and see how these masters of the universe handled similar like incidents so we could achieve the same success. I had several questions…
Have you ever arrived to work drunk and a manager caught you puking in ladies toilet?
Have you ever in a situation where you and your boss are unable to agree on a proper annual increase because you are sleeping with him and think you deserve more than the standard 5%?
If I tell people to “fuck off” on a regular basis and like to make inappropriate comments, preferably of a sexual nature, whenever possible, will I achieve your success?
No? You don’t think so? Hmm…interesting…
Who has two thumbs and thinks the corporate world is Satan’s way of showing us hell is real…this girl.
posted by Dubs @ 6:18 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
corporate America is the bane of my existence. what i want to know is, what's it all about? why do all these companies exist, and to what end? i mean, my company makes circuit boards for oil & gas OEM's (Halliburton, Schlumberger, Baker-Hughes, etc). the OEM's take the boards and put them in their tools. the tools are rented from them by the drilling companies who in turn are commissioned by the MOGULS (Exxon, Shell, BP, etc...) to get the oil out of the ground. the oil goes to the refineries and eventually into our cars. we pay for the gas (with money we earned at our jobs making the circuit boards that made the gas possible in the first place, i might add) and put money into the oil company’s pockets, who in turn takes the money we just gave them for their gas, and pays their vendors who provided them with all the shit it took to get the oil out of the ground in the first place. the money we paid for the gas, we got from our job, which is to make circuit boards for the oil and gas industry, which provides gas that we pay for and put in our cars. the question is... why? where did it all begin? who was the first mother-fucker to decide that we should work 8-5 (and some weekends), and get paid a shitty salary? more importantly, why do we put up with it? if everyone in America stood up one day and flip'd the bird to corporate America, what would happen? would our economy collapse, or would we take on a new, happier, form? the wife and i just got back from our honeymoon, that we took in Vieques (small island off the southeastern coast of Puerto Rico), and we were thinking that we should liquidate all our assets (houses, portfolio, 401K's, IRA's, savings, etc) and buy a small shack on the beach to serve drinks out of. fuck the 8-5. fuck the health benefits. fuck 401K's. fuck corporate America. it's a pleasant thought, but when you really get down to brass tacks, do we really have the balls to undertake such a thing? could we really throw away all these years of hard work? i've worked really hard to get where i am today. my wife is one of those power-women you refer to in your post. she's worked her way up the ladder and is now making a high 6-figure salary (bordering on 7-figures). do we dream of living on the beach serving drinks to ignorant tourists? hell yes. are we willing to throw away YEARS of flogging our guts out to get where we are? probably not. fuck... i have no idea what i'm talking about. i lost my train of thought.
Perhaps my less ambitious goals in life have created less inclination to complain about what has gotten me all that I have. I bet I'm as happy or happier with my mediocre 5 digit salary as you are with your borderline 7. I may not be as big of a big shot, but then, I prefer not to be. Those are the people I make fun of. They may be giggling among themselves in their big shot whispers of how I am a low life bottom feeder with no ambition or drive, but I am not concerned. They are the ones who trouble themselves with what others think of them. I couldn't be bothered. And I couldn't be more satisfied with where I am in life even though it's not at the top of the heap.
I'm quite impressed with your peace of mind, Intol.
It's so much more of a stress free existence when you can live within your means no matter how great or small that figure may be. My income way up here, miles and miles and hours and hours from your fair city is considered entry level for Manhattanites. But here it provides for me quite well. I wish everyone could feel this free.
I do have work related issues that I consider daily entertainment however. The broad who can wear a t shirt for 21 days and only comb the front of her bleached out gray root mop head for instance. I have marked her shirts and I swear to God she wears t shirts 15-20 days IN A ROW. Even comes back on Monday with the same one. The powder or magic marker mark is still there. I know. I put it there. She's vile. We run a pool for which day she changes since she varies. We each plop down a buck and pick a day at least a week ahead. If she changes within a week, we roll it over and start again. {That has NOT happened yet}
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