The Family Circus

Like anyone else with a decent sense of humor, I can’t stand the comic strip The Family Circus. This also means I don’t like when people share stories about their children that are “just so funny!” Or anything that uses the phrase, “kids say or do the darndest things.” I use this clever saying when Small Fry or the Fry Guys do anything stupid, but they are legally adults so it’s funny. Not humorous when the subject is under the age of 5. I thought that until I heard this story…

Bull Durham, a director at my company who looks exactly like Tim Robbins, was chatting away at a recent network event about his weekend. Apparently the family cat, Tabby, had been missing for an entire week and his 4-year-old son Junior whined for it every day. On Saturday, Bull found a dead cat on the side of a road in their neighborhood that looked exactly like Tabby. Bull went home for a shovel and garbage bag. He returned to the murder scene, scooped up Tabby and wrapped her in the body bag. No more Fresh Step Litter or Meow Mix necessary on the weekly grocery list. Poor Tabby, may she Rest In Peace.

At home, Junior was very upset about Tabby and death in general. The family held a proper funeral burying Tabby in the backyard with a few tears. I imagine at his young age, Junior has not read or seen Pet Cemetery and is a-okay with animals buried 50 feet beyond his bedroom window. They served Hi-C and Popsicles following the service sharing wonderful kitty stores. Junior went to sleep and woke up the next day understanding that Tabby was in a “better place.” The parents were pleased their son learned about death and the proper funeral protocol.

This important life lesson became a bit confusing when Tabby arrived home late Sunday night.

Junior was thrilled that his precious cat really did have nine lives. Bull was not so thrilled that he disposed of somebody else’s road kill on his property or that his son now believes in life after death. Tough to teach the reality when the kid witnessed it first hand.

Currently, Junior spends most of his days burying trucks, stuffed animals, and household items in the backyard waiting for them to come back to life. Bull or Mrs. Durham didn’t realize until the remote control went missing.

I think it’s hilarious. Fucking kids.